Top 5 Strategies to Increase Playing Time for the Overlooked Youth Soccer Player

Soccer Unleashed
Feb 24
5 min read

Updated: Apr 1

As a parent, there's nothing quite as painful as watching your child sit on the bench, their eyes filled with disappointment, while their teammates play. You see the passion, the dedication, the hours of practice – and yet, they're overlooked. If you're nodding along, you're not alone. Many parents have faced this heartbreaking situation, and it can be incredibly tough to know how to help.

Personal Story: I, too, have experienced it. After all this is part of the reason I created Soccer Unleashed. My son quickly went from being a starter to a benchwarmer when he was 12-years old. There was no warning, no explanation. It was so very hard to watch. He even got to the point where he wanted to quit soccer. Today, he still plays and loves it.

Let's dive in.

Communication

Listen, Don't Lecture

Start by having an honest, empathetic conversation with your child. Ask them how they feel, what do they want, what they think they could improve, and what they observe during games.
Avoid jumping to conclusions or blaming the coach. Focus on understanding their perspective and what is happening.

Coach Communication About Playing Time

Schedule a convenient meeting with the coach. Focus on asking for constructive feedback on your child's performance. If your child is 13 years or older, it's preferable for them to speak directly with their coach instead of you, the parent.
Frame questions positively: "What specific areas can my child focus on to improve their playing time?"
Avoid demanding playing time or criticizing the coach's decisions.

Resource: Learn more about how to effectively communicate with your child’s soccer coach.

Skill Development with a Focus on Soccer Fundamentals

Identify Weaknesses

Work with your child to focus on the specific soccer skills they need to improve. Is it passing accuracy, dribbling, scanning, shooting, or positioning?

Embrace Practice

Create a practice plan that focuses on those weaknesses - outside of regular practice. Consider hiring a private trainer, using an online soccer training app, and/or enrolling in a specialized skills clinic. There are many youth soccer opportunities that you can enroll in for skill development outside of team practices.
To work toward specific goals and to better manage and track progress, consider using a soccer workbook. This will also help your player stay focused and organized.

Game-Like Scenarios

Dedicate time to watching professional soccer matches and focus on players in the same position. This is a frequently overlooked free resource for understanding the game and positioning. Numerous coaches advise watching games as a component of youth soccer development.
Create practice scenarios that replicate game situations. This will prepare your child to perform under pressure. Using an erasable coaches board (something like this one) can be beneficial for visually demonstrating scenarios to your player and reinforcing what they learn during practice. When your child gets playtime, they will have a foundation of what is expected on the field in various game situations.

Personal Story: My son sometimes struggled to understand the practice drills. To help, I watched every practice, took notes and then showed him the drills on the coaches board. Worked even better when I asked him to show me the drill, putting the power and the confidence in his hands. This was a great way to reinforce his learning.

Building Confidence

Positive Reinforcement

Celebrate small victories, progress, and effort, not results. Use the youth soccer goal book mentioned above to set goals. In that particular goal book, your child is encouraged to engage in self-reflection, and rate themselves on effort and goal achievement. It is a great resource to positively reinforce gains and build confidence.
Focus on strengths to help your player feel good and motivated.

Visualization

Encourage your child to visualize themselves succeeding on the field. Pick three scenarios that are most likely to occur when they get on the field. Have them picture the scenario in their head and the positive outcome!
Visualization is often encouraged as part of a players pre-game routine to help them prepare for the game mentally.

Personal Story: Visualization was so helpful with my son. He was a defender. He picked his top three scenarios that he encountered. For example, a forward driving towards him with the ball and no other defenders there. He was to visualize slowing the player down, not stabbing, pushing him to the outside, and then a successful tackle. Helped him to be ready for the game and also tell himself he can do it.

Mental Toughness Training

Teach your child techniques for managing anxiety and staying focused under pressure. Consider hiring a mental performance coach, such as Beyond Goals Mentoring, or search online.
Help them understand that setbacks are a part of the game, and how to move past the mistake and keep playing.

Related Resource: How to Build Resilience in Youth Soccer Players

Teamwork and Attitude

Emphasize the importance of supporting teammates, even from the bench.
Encourage your child to be positive and encouraging during practices and games.
Remind your child that coaches notice players who give their all, even in limited playing time. Even if they only get 10 mins, make the most of those minutes and give 100% every second.

Find the Right Fit

Evaluate the Team, Club and Coach

Sometimes, the issue isn't your child's ability but the team's or coach's philosophy. Different coaches see different things in players and have certain preferences in types of players. Dare I say, sometimes they have favorites. Sadly, this does occur.
If the situation doesn't improve, consider exploring other teams or clubs.

Focus on Development

Ensure your child is on a team that values player development over just winning.
A team that provides a positive learning environment.

Explore New Opportunities

Thanks to modern technology, there are more opportunities for soccer players than ever before. Search for upcoming tryouts and leagues. Also search for camps, clinics and pick-ups, not only for more touches on the ball, but you may also stumble upon a new soccer opportunity through a coach, parent, or player you meet there.

Personal Story: I sought out camps, pick ups and trainers for my son, while trying to keep an eye on my wallet of course. It was helpful to get him in a different environment where he was not worried about playtime and could just play, learn to love the game again. It took a lot of time to find soccer opportunities, scrolling through feeds and looking at various websites. Again, the reason Soccer Unleashed was created.

Conclusion: Strategies to Increase Playing Time

Watching your child on the bench is tough, but remember, you're their strongest advocate. Youth soccer is a journey of growth, and while playing time is important, it's not the only measure of success.

The strategies we’ve explored – communication, skill development, confidence building, and finding the right team – are tools to help your child thrive on the field and in life. They require patience and dedication, but they make a difference. I've experienced it firsthand. Things can improve with patience, focus, and dedication.

Don't let your child lose their passion. Be their support system, empowering them to take ownership of their youth soccer development. Even when playing time is limited, the lessons learned are invaluable. You've got this, you have the power to help your kids shine, both on and off the field.

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About Soccer Unleashed, LLC

Soccer Unleashed is on a mission to ignite the passion and performance of every youth soccer player. Our listing of soccer opportunities empowers parents to unlock their athlete's potential by providing full access to top-notch training programs, clubs, leagues, camps, pick-up games, and other critical opportunities. By opening doors to these resources, we help players emerge from the shadows, uncover hidden talents, transform benchwarmers into team leaders, and offer players, clubs, and organizations the opportunity to connect. Regardless of their current level, driven players will have the chance to excel on the field, creating a future where every soccer dream can become a reality.